add2watchlist: it's time to level up + i love bona dish 🌪️

Mar 21, 2025

it’s been so easy to be angry. the world is in flames. my family’s home country is hurting, as all of the SWANA region is. it’s unbearable to witness, but it’s also lit a fire in my ass—a responsibility, especially as a Syrian, to be more engaged in both local and national communities..which is why I try to do small things, like make donation-based buttons or hand out zines at shows.

a good friend of mine heavily involved in mutual aid, recently said something simple that struck a chord with me: “it’s all out of love.” protest, sharing critical news, making a meal for someone—it’s anger turned into action, into passion. we’re sick of the stigmas around homelessness, we’re exhausted by our country’s pea-brained, racist, homophobic leadership, we recognize that there are people in this country who make more money than some can even fathom in a lifetime—money that could be easily distributed across a very large number of people. (did you know the average Syrian makes around $20 a month?). i’m trying to love, but bitch, it’s been hard.

last week, I played five shows during SXSW. despite being constantly surrounded by people I felt lonelier than ever. we talk about “platforming creatives” or “highlighting queer and womxn talent,” but so many of these spaces don’t take the time to nurture or welcome the people they claim to uplift. events and fests like SXSW churn out show after show, slapping a name and face onto an outcome, but never really tending to the roots of the community.

and as one of my bandmates put it, we felt like monkeys in a zoo. a spectacle to outsiders. that feeling was of course even stronger at shows where the bands had little to no non-men—especially ones where there wasn’t a single lead who wasn’t a man (which was a fucking lot of them, btw lol).

reading about the Zulu lead dude yesterday reminded me and highlighted the tired but true statement that our scenes are sooo overwhelmingly male-dominated still. people, regardless of gender (but mainly men), sharing empty messages and performance activism—or who aren’t sharing any meaningful messages, period. many want the optics of diversity without doing the work of fostering real intentional spaces. some don’t even care or want the diversity at all. many people are contempt living in their bubbles, or live in an orbit where there isn’t a support system encouraging an exchanging of ideas and thoughts outside this bubble. we all live in echo chambers and won’t understand the world on a broader level without venturing out.

the love comes back for me when I remember that we’re all truly trying our best, or at least most people want to and are. we are flawed, imperfect humans who fuck up, don’t always do the right things, aren’t always the kindest, or have the clearest messaging or intentions. at the end of the day, most of us recognize and know we can do better, and that’s what we strive for, I like to hope.

I crave slowness and stillness…I crave community that isn’t just a spectacle. the love comes back when I remember the amazing people in my close-knit community—the ones who invite me to local readings or protests, the ones who engage with and challenge my creative ideas, the ones who always try to lead with love and encourage me to do the same, even though it’s not always the easiest option.

fave songs rn -